People only treat you the way you allow them to.
We’ve all had a time when we’ve invested our energy into the wrong person or situation or have come to realize someone close was not who they appeared to be. The eye opening moment when someone shows their real colours can be a disappointing, hurtful and enraging one. And when it happens to us and we are scarred, it’s easy to put up a wall and withdraw away from others in hopes to avoid reoccurring disappointment. But shutting out people isnt the right answer. Rather, we must draw clearer lines in the sand in relation to how we want to be treated and what our expectation of others are.
Some people are just shit.
Seeing the good in everyone and giving the benefit of the doubt often leaves me open to being used. And sometimes it doesn’t matter how well you treat someone or how much you try to help them, or do good in the world, people will still hate on you, talk shit or see something you are doing wrong. Shit people, who only think about themselves and project all of their negative crap onto you.
I’ve learnt that people often accuse you of the very thing that they are capable of doing. Those who accuse of stealing have stolen before. Those who accuse of cheating have cheated before and so on. So when it happens, I don’t tolerate it anymore. Part of being grown is dictating to the world your expectation and deciding who gets to be a part of that world.
Good people deserve good people.
If you live your life trying to be the best version of yourself and to help those around you then you deserve the same in return. Period. Unfortunately, sometimes in this world, nice guys (and ladies) finish last. And it seems that the bullshit artists, haters, vultures and cheaters land on top. In my opinion, it is partially the fault of the ‘nice’. Often the ‘nice’ are enablers. Often the nice are submissive. Often the nice are apathetic.
More and more with the breaking down of the worlds social skills and conscience, ironically at the fault advancement of technology & ‘social’ media, there is a lot of grey around what behavior is deemed appropriate. So we must start setting clearer boundaries and not assume that ‘people should know where that line is’. If you draw an invisible line you can be sure some will cross it, even unintentionally. So when someone does something that doesn’t sit right with you, tell them.
It’s all in the delivery.
When someone crosses that line, you don’t always have to fly off the handle and get all up their face aggressively. A lot of the time these people don’t realize that they have crossed into the ‘red zone’. Always approach gently but firm, until you have a good read on the situation. If you can see that this person is deliberately acting inappropriately or is purposely using your calm, non-confrontational nature to get away with doing wrong by you then its time to push a bit harder (or go to war depending on the situation lol). Sometimes when you explain things precisely, logically, nicely to someone, they genuinely understand and care enough to stop doing the wrong thing. Then again, some people need a punch to the head (or the equivalent in words) to get it – to get back to their side of the line.
In plain english
I guess what I’m trying to say is: If I’m trying to help you and you go around talking shit about me behind my back, and telling everyone that I’m dodgy, don’t expect me not to say anything to you next time I see you. Don’t expect me to keep helping you, and don’t expect me to act like we all good. Because if I allow it to happen once, then what goes to say you wont continue to do those things in the future? And if you can’t see the good in me, then you probably don’t have much good in you, so not having you around is not going to be much of a loss. Also time does not heal wounds, conversations and resolutions do
Stay real Xx