Express Yourself

Roxy Live

Thank god for creative expression.

These few weeks have been challenging on my heart and I’m so thankful that I know how to channel the negative energy, anger and frustration into my music, using those emotions to sing the shit out of songs on stage.  And after I release this storm of emotions, I’m calm and clear headed again.  It wasn’t an easy transformation to being an emotive performer, but now that I’m here, theres no turning back, not even half way.  Singing through my anxiety, pain, anger, joy and happiness is a tool that now I simply could not live without.

I think about people who don’t have an outlet to express.  What must that be like?  Like a soda bottle of emotions fizzing up and ready to explode but the lid screwed on tight.  It just can’t be healthy for us to hold in our emotions like that.  It would manifest poison into the body which would bleed into every aspect of our live.

So if you haven’t found your outlet yet, start looking today.  Music, art, crafts, writing, exercising, meditating, dancing, whatever it is, you NEED something.  Negative energy is not worth holding on to.  And people who serve that up to you need to be let go.  Distance yourself from the poison and you will live a happier life.

Unfortunately sometimes in order to do that we have to distance ourselves from people we love.  And that is one of the hardest things in life.

I’m so grateful for the ability to express.

If you don’t know how to, seek help..

Roxy Xx

 

Am I not good enough?

As creative people, it is often that we come across feelings of insecurity and we question our self-worth.  You’ll find that even some of the most successful creators in the world sometimes struggle with self confidence – the questions ‘Am I not good enough?’ or ‘Do I deserve this?’ lurking in the dark corners of their minds.

You see, to be an artist, you must be able to feel things, emotions, energy and vibes. We let down our guards and open ourselves up to be susceptible to the feel of everything around us, and we try to feel these emotions through, rather than suppress them.  Then we use these emotions and feels create and relate in a meaningful way.  This process can often leave us vulnerable and sensitive.

When you open yourself up to a more emotional state, you often cannot control the feelings that you will absorb or bring up.  It’s why we see some of the best creators in the world struggle with demons of anxiety disorders and depression.

Is it worth it? In my opinion, to feel is to be human, and a life without a certain level of emotion is pointless.  So in with the good vibes – and sometimes the bad.

Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m good enough.  My singing, my ability to perform and teach, my writing, my appearance, my intellect.  And this feeling is often attached to a need for validation.

Social media plays a big part in today’s world as a tool for people to be validated, judged and accepted.  There are people literally dying for views, likes, and follows.  And therefore getting upset and torn down by the lack of these interactions.

Picture this, I spend a week thinking, writing, recording and making a video and original song. And when I post in online, it gets under 10 views, 3 likes an no comments.  No one cares.  Was it a crap song? Do I look bad in the video? Is my vocal not u to scratch? Am I good enough?….Why do I even bother?

10 minutes before posting, I was super proud of my work and feeling a sense of achievement.  And the just like that, I’m shattered.  Maybe by a computer robot that decided not to show my post in friends’ news feed?.  But that doesn’t matter, I’ve already been knocked down.  And sometimes that’s enough to set off a downward spiral into depression.

Then my coping mechanism kicks in.  My state of mind flips over to logical rather than emotional.  I focus on the things I have rather than what I don’t. And slowly the gauge moves from negative to positive.  That is a process I have worked very hard to develop.  I think about the things that I have achieved in my career and life, and  I remember positive comments that people have given me in the past.  I also remember how nice it felt to create my work.  The journey itself, was my reward.  And that’s it people!  The value of creating is in the creating, not the sale.  And that needs to be enough otherwise you will always feel let down.  Self validation is the key.  “I love this piece of work, I enjoyed making it, it’s awesome”.  That should be enough.  But it is easier said than done.

Creatives wake up each day and choose to be vulnerable, and to share personal experiences and emotions with us through their work, for the betterment of the world.  What would the world be like without art and music? Fucking horrible.

And sometimes we fail or are lazy, or too busy to acknowledge that contribution.  And when we fail to support and acknowledge others, we leave room for those people to feel hindered and ask themselves ‘what is the point?’

No I’m not saying that it is your fault that people  sometimes don’t feel good enough.  What I’m saying is:  Try to be a part of the thoughts that derail the negativity.  Try to be part of the coping mechanism.  Be the positive comment in the back of a creative mind.  We all need reassurance sometimes, even the most confident of us.

It’s very simple.  When you see something on social media that you like. Like it.  Better yet, comment on it.  Because the more interaction and response the post gets, the more it will be shown to others.  So many ridiculous posts go viral these days and too often I see real art being overlooked and ignored.

Support your creatives, my friends.  Not just online, go out and see a show, buy an album, share and spread the word.  And tell them. Tell them if you think they are awesome, even if you think that they must hear it all the time from others.  Because one day,  when that person is feeling sub-par, they might think about how you support them and it may just be enough for them to pick themselves up and keep going.  Your simple deed could be that person’s savior.

My fellow creatives, I’m so honored to be in the presence of your talent.  Enjoy creating and don’t let lack of interaction or trolling hinder you.  The journey and process is often more important than the outcome.  The world sees you. The world appreciates you. And the world needs you .  Stay shining.

Roxy Xx

 

PS if you like what I’m doing, feel free to share, comment like and follow.  Or you can support my work on Patreon  at http://www.patreon/roxanelebrasse

 

 

 

 

Opportunity Knocks…But are you even home?

There’s always a way to turn your life around.  We are always only one decision away from changing our lives.

Sometimes we find ourselves in a rut.  And the world doesn’t favour our best interests. World best seller book ‘The Secret’ tells us that we can manifest our destiny by thinking about how it would feel to have certain things.  So I spent hours with my head down concentrating on that mansion at the sea and a massive bank balance but alas! My millions haven’t arrived yet.

Then I thought, what am I actively doing to help my situation?  How much effort am I actually putting in to make things work?  To make my life better? When opportunity knocks, Am I ready and waiting to invite it in? Am I even home? Do I even hear that doorbell?

If you are too busy for change and for yourself, then you are basically telling the universe to come back later. We can’t just pray/ask for something good, and then when it arrives (even the smallest hint), ignore and put in on the ‘back-burner’.  If our heads are too far in the clouds (or deep in paperwork, spreadsheets, bills, stress),  we give up the ability to see the small steps to change and opportunity.

For example, If you want to quit your job and start working for yourself.  And then some one gives you an opportunity to jump in on a free online course about starting a small business, and you can’t do it because you have too much work to get done… You’ve pretty much shut the door on the very opportunity you asked for in the first place.  You’ve told the universe “umm…actually…no I really don’t want that”.

Commitment to your goals and committing your energy to something is what will make it grow.  So if you commit your energy to hating your job, that hate will grow too.  But if you commit your energy into finding a way to make money from something you love to do, opportunities will keep presenting themselves until you find the right one.  But you have to look to find and you have to be conscious about your goals.

If you don’t know where you are going, how are you going to get there?

The first step is to work out where you would like to be, and how you would like to feel.  And Write that shit down!.  List a few goals.  They do not need to be set in concrete, they will most certainly change and evolve as you do.

The next step is to do a bit of research.  On the net, in person, in books.  What are other people doing?  What’s available to me? Who do I know that can help?  What are my strengths and passions and how could they be turned into a project?  You can have a million ideas and it’s totally ok to research all of them.  Vocalise your goals to other people, tell everyone around you.  You’ll keep reminding yourself of where you are going and someone might know someone who may be able to help you in some way. Actively looking, researching, working on and talking about goals sends a message to the universe that you are serious about change.  It is committing your energy a 1000 times more than just thinking about it.

When the opportunities come, however small, make sure you are available to recognise them.  Make sure you are ready to take them on, make sure you have the ability to commit to the change you asked for.

Side note,  I’ve been chatting to some people to help them find purpose and work out what they are passionate about and how they can create more opportunities for themselves and start investing energy inward.  We bounce business ideas, share tips and work it all out together.  If you need some support with making a positive change.  Please feel free to get in contact with me.

Your comments are very welcome…

Happy Friday Everyone 🙂

 

RoxySIGNoff

Drama Queen 101

Surround yourself with people who want to move forward not live in that past.

Talk about opinions, the world, passions, art, music, philosophy and politics, not other people.

Rub shoulders with the passionate.

Learn from the successful.

There is not enough time in your life for unnecessary drama…

drama

 

What would you rather be doing?

10years

 

It’s been a productive week.  My eldest son, Chance started school (pre-primary), I had 2 wisdom teeth pulled out, snuck in 2 mid-week gigs, 1 Skype singing lesson and recorded a new song idea.  And so with Chance being kept busy 5 days a week 830-3pm, I’ve been given a whole lot of time back.  I actually feel rich!

You see, we should see our time and energy as we see our money – even more precious, as time and energy spent can never be returned to you.  Yet, so many people are willing to give up their precious time doing things they don’t enjoy for very small amounts of money or return.

Today I ask, What are you doing with your time and energy? and What would you rather be doing?  If you find the two answers are far from each other then maybe it’s time to re-evaluate.

Believe it or not, not all people dread the idea of going to work.  And I’m not just making reference to people who have exciting jobs and get paid a shitload of money.  There are some people who love their job waiting tables, or driving a delivery van or doing someone’s taxes.  And outside of this, there are some people who just haven’t found their ‘Happy’ yet.

The world is full of different and unique personalities and there is no standard one way road to happiness.  And frankly, that’s because ‘happiness’ means something different to each and every one of us.  So no, you don’t need to be rich to be happy, but you do need to be happy to feel enriched.

To my friends who plod along in life on auto-pilot feeling unhappy, apathetic and without purpose: It’s time to take a moment.  Ask yourself what would you rather be doing.  And then do it.  Now… I don’t mean quit your job and start being a full time finger-painter because ‘I love finger-painting’ and then go broke and get homeless etc… Just take it in small steps.  That time that you are throwing at people like its worthless, I say, hold on to some of it.  Keep it for yourself.  Just a few hours a week doing what you love to heal your heart and feed your soul.  It will make such a difference in your life and could spark an idea for a project, and that project could later fit into a business model, and in taking little steps you might see value in dedicating more time to that ‘Happy’ and turn it into something that makes you money, directly or indirectly.  Your ‘Happy could end up being your full time job — you could live on it! Wouldn’t that be amazing??

Well it’s not impossible.  Some of us are just enslaved by our ideas about the ‘rules of life’.  And we resign to the fact that our life is just about waking up and going to work for 40 hours to make someone else rich, just so we can pay bills and ask for permission to go on a holiday for 2 weeks, once a year.  Shit! that sounds all sorts of crazy to me.

The Alternative?  Put  your happiness at the top of your priority list.  Because happiness attracts all kinds of success. And happiness brings good health.  Happiness fixes relationships.  Happiness attracts customers. And happiness finds the right squad for you to hang out with.

But all change is difficult and scary for most, and it requires time and energy. So when dividing up that time and energy across your commitments, please reserve some of that energy for your ‘Happy’.  If you think that you are too busy, then basically you’ve decided to settle for your current situation.

And if you don’t know where to start, who you are, what you like and what you should be doing, maybe I can help you.

Watch this space for upcoming events, info and blogs or get in contact at thealternativetoday@gmail.com  if you want to chat.

Finally I want to ask everyone to be thankful for the energy and time that others give to you, as I am thankful for the time you took to read this blog.  Your time is not unlimited. Use it wisely!

RoxySIGNoff

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Make the Move

I’m hearing the same dialogue all around me and I just wanted to address each statement separately.  I’m going to start by reminding everyone that we were not put on this earth to work hard to pay bills.  The majority of us spend 90% of our time doing stuff we don’t like or could give 2 f@#ks about.  But damn do we have time to complain… We have hours on hours to tell each other how unhappy or ridiculously busy or broke we are.  We have hours to take on and indulge in other peoples business and drama but when it comes to changing and bettering our situation its “I’m stuck, I’m unhappy, My relationship is failing, Myself business is a mess, I have no time for me, I hate my job, I don’t have a choice, It’s just the way it is.”  My responses are below:

“I’m stuck”

We are only held captive by our ideas and thoughts.  Change your thinking, change your situation.  There is always a different way to look at things you must be willing to be open minded.

“I’m unhappy”

People believe that happiness is a destination…. “I’ll be happy when this happens or when I get this or there”. Why can’t we aim to be happy along the way?  Be happy in the now and if you are not, start making small changes to everyday to inject doses of joy.  Happiness is a personal thing.  It is about giving to yourself time, moments, memories, freedoms and feelings. Because what if we never get to that destination happy? Are we doomed to spend a life of misery then die?  I’m sure it wasn’t intended that way.

“My relationship is failing”

Ask yourself why it’s failing?  There a few things that deteriorate a relationship: lack of support, lack of trust, lack of loyalty, lack of honesty, lack of communication, lack of consideration and acknowledgement.  Notice I did not mention love.  You can love someone to bits but it won’t solely hold a relationship together.  When you neglect your relationship – just like any other parts of your life…it starts to slip away.  A good place to start to fix things is to communicate with your partner and admit to the neglect,  and willingness to put energy into repair.  Happiness starts at home.

“My business is a mess”

No business starts out as a mess but plenty end there. Just like a relationship, it’s neglect that will make a business deteriorate.  Business owners fall into the trap of putting all their energy in the things that generate income right now and forget to maintain the things that will ensure the longevity of the business.  The organisation and planning and research aspect of a business should never cease.  Maintain a clean and organised back-end, and implement an accurate reporting tool so that you can make better decisions about the direction that your business is going.  Keep up to date with your market and be willing to be flexible so that you can evolve and adapt appropriately. Also, love what you do.

“I have no time for me”

You are the ruler of your time. You are the ruler of your time. You are the ruler of your time…  If you don’t have time for you then you are giving too much time out.  Usually its going out to your job, other people, and making money.  Just like you allocate time for your job, allocate time for you. Put it in your calendar like an appointment.  If your job or life doesn’t allow it, change your job or life — it’s NOT acceptable to have no time for yourself.

“I hate my job”

Leave.  If you hate your job you are probably a bad worker anyway.  Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses and skills and talents.  Find yours and find a job that uses them, and if you can’t find one, create one.

“I don’t have a choice”

You always have a choice.  The options may not be great but they are always there.  Choose and follow through.  Pick a side, don’t fence sit.  And back yourself – how do you expect others to if you don’t?

“Its just the way it is here”

This is the biggest cop out I ever hear.  Its you saying, I’m unwilling to change and I accept my unhappiness because I’m lazy or scared.  No one is ever “ready” to do anything.

MAKE A MOVE. EVEN A SMALL ONE….IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION…ACROSS THE GLOBE IF THATS WHERE YOUR HEART LEADS YOU.  Nothing changes whilst you stay in the same spot physically and mentally and emotionally, so try something new.

This year I moved my family (me, my husband, our to kids and my mother) to Mauritius.  It was a tough move, but I put the idea in my head that I could work from anywhere in the world.  And now I’m proving myself right.  Current situation:

 

If you need some advice and want to talk about how to change your situation, get in contact with me…

Have time? Make time!

priorities

There are just not enough hours in a day — I have thought so many times.  What kind of happiness can we achieve if we try to squeeze in a little bit of what you love in between massive chunks of mundane and uninspiring stuff we do day to day?

So many people today live to work – and that’s okay if your work is exactly what you want to do.  But if you are just chasing money to survive and pay bills then somewhere along the line, you’ve lost your path. So I ask:

What is most important? Who is your priority? Where do you want to go? And how much time is spent on these things/people?

If most of your time and energy is not spent on your priorities, than those things/people aren’t really your priorities…

Always chase happiness… Always chase love… Always chase inner-peace and the rest will follow 🙂

 

What Consumes Your Mind, Controls Your Life

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Anxiety and worry often gets the better of us. We pile it up until there is no room for anything else in our minds and it overflows into our lifestyles, work, relationships and dreams. It often rushes us into bad decisions and allows negative energy to flow back to us. A vicious cycle that can be changed only with a break in the routine..

When we can turn this energy into creative expression we give ourselves an outlet and way to exchange our negative energy into something positive and can find our ‘happy’ again.

With help and support from friends, family and mentors, we overflow, cry, hug, pull it together, see the situation with clearer eyes, (and in my case) write a song…

Everyone has their days.. Don’t deny yourself the human right to be vulnerable, just understand the people who you can trust to be around you when your in that state..

Work hard…for the right things

passion

Being in control of your own time, work schedule, creative direction and destiny doesn’t necessarily mean that you work less.  It means that you care a whole lot more about whether you are succeeding and that you find a lot more satisfaction in achieving those personal goals.  I love my job so much that I have to watch myself to not become a workaholic!!  Balance is key.  There must also be time for family, for play, for rest and for fun.

 

What’s The Alternative?

 

 

 

I was born in one of the most musical families I’ve ever known.  My father is a singer, my mother a dancer, my grandfather a pioneer of Mauritian folk music, my cousins having great success as artists and songwriters, my partner, my uncles, my sisters and brothers, all talented singers, dancers, musicians and engineers.  My family is living proof that you carve out a successful career for yourself using art and yet I still was brought up with the idea that music and art is a hobby, a part time and not a real job, and that I should always have a backup plan.

Inconsistent with the reality of the successful and happy people I saw around me, I was told this at school, I was told this at work, I was told by the media, I was told even by some of the people that I was working with and considered as mentors. I’ve heard ‘It’s so hard to make riches from the arts, choose something else’ so many times growing up…But what if I was chasing happiness? What if the money just came as a bonus to being happy..  It’s taken great effort to accept myself as the creative being that I am, and to silence the little voice inside of me, that little, unnerving and confusing voice that says I “can’t be this way forever, you need a backup plan!” and as for a backup plan… Well I have none, (no 9-5, no part time, no working for anyone else… Scary? Sometimes, Worth it? ALWAYS!, and it means that I have no choice but to work harder… That I must succeed!!!

This year I am expanding into a project that will help people find balance in their lives and makeover their ideas about being happy, being creative, and being successful.  Whether you are a creative professional, dealing with the anxiety of living with constant change and the instability that these industries can bring, or a creative soul trapped in the office world, the dreaded four walls, because it’s the “only way you can pay your bills”… I want to help. I want to share my experience, and hopefully it will shed some light on a better way, a way that defies their rules, a way to take back control and better your situation.

(For me) Life is about the journey, and evolving as human beings, not being enslaved by our possessions, limited by our status and resigned to our lifestyle habits… It’s about keeping a level head, about the world around you and choosing how to interact with it.  Who said you can’t be creative, expressive AND make enough money to have a comfortable life?  We idolize people, the rich and famous that do this everyday and say that they are “living the dream”.  Well It’s only ever going to be a ‘dream’ if you don’t do something about it…

If this rings any bells, sounds familiar and you want to find out more of how I created this amazing world for myself, Let’s have a chat… It may just be what you’re missing, and may help you find that happiness you are working towards.

Remember that being creative doesn’t have to mean writing a great song or painting a beautiful picture, architects create buildings, comedians create laughs, housewives can take a house create a home…Creativity is everywhere if you know how to look for it and almost always undervalued.

 

RoxySIGNoff