But what will they say…

When I stopped worrying about what other people would think about me, my opportunities quadrupled and my income tripled.

It’s so amazing how we so willingly accept other people’s opinion and judgement as our truths.

Nobody knows you more than YOU.
Nobody gets to decide your intention when doing something but YOU.
Nobody lives through your story and decisions more than YOU.

But it’s easy to surrender responsibility to others.

I get it. That was me. Always asking advice from my friends (even on the smallest things), Always hesitating do put myself out there because: What would people think? What would people say? How will this decision be perceived?

Always needing someone to validate my actions. TO VALIDATE ME.

What I didn’t realise for a long time is that I allowed others to control and design MY LIFE because of this. People form opinions based on their personal experiences and HISTORY. And everyone’s story and experiences are unique even though some may seem the same.

Which means that yes, you can learn from other people’s mistakes, but the outcome that someone gets from doing something might not be the same as the outcome that you might get from doing the EXACT same thing. There are too many external factors that make up peoples experiences, successes, failures and opinions. And sometimes the WIN you might get it is worth the RISK.

So should you listen to what others SAY? yes, but not everyone…
Should it override how you FEEL about something? Nope.

The best way is to TRY and form your OWN opinions. And WIN, or LEARN…

If I had listened to the people around me or cared what they would think:

I would have not moved to Sydney when I finished school.
I would not have auditioned for Australian Idol back in the day.
I would have not created The Starlettes, The Boutique, The Alternative.
I would have not been an Artist (they told me that I should only be a writer)
I would have given up on RNB.
I would have given up on singing and writing my own songs a long time ago to “get a real job”.
I would not have moved to Mauritius.
I would not have moved to Perth.
I would not be running my own business,
I would not be earning income from living my truth and spreading my message today.

My biggest successes have come from making decisions WITHOUT caring about others opinions.

Because nobody knows my truth like I do.
And finding space to listen to my intuition and backing myself wholeheartedly has made the world of difference to my life.

I AM WHO I WANT TO BE ALL THE TIME NOW.
And with that CERTAINTY and CONFIDENCE comes OPPORTUNITY and SUCCESS.

And I’m here to EMPOWER others to do the same… However it looks like for them.

Let me know if you are READY 👇

I’m done with hiding

HERE’S THE THING. I’M DONE WITH HIDING.

People still say to me – “It wouldn’t kill you to put a little makeup on or brush your hair before you do your videos, Roxy.”

And you know what — it might. It might kill that beautiful idea that my peeps all currently have of me that I’m super proud of: I am authentically, and unapolegitically me. 👊

And when I dont want to dress up for you, I wont.
Because I dont need to hide behind smoke and mirrors to share my message.

And if you are going to reject what I have to say about life, because I didn’t pluck my eyebrows or put on some lipstick then “bye felicia…” my message isn’t for you.👋

I share when I feel like I have something to say and when I have value to give back to my community. And sometimes there’s no time to worry about what it looks like and what people will say about me.

I don’t need to do myself up to feel beautiful and confident. I made that happen from the inside.
I got over myself. Because what I do and how I serve others is ultimately NOT ABOUT ME.

In my life I have learnt from all different kinds of people, from all walks of life, of various cultures and backgrounds, of every age group. I have learnt to listen past the bullshit aesthetic stuff. You know that saying ‘Dont judge a book by its cover….’ Yeh that shit…💯

Because if you limit yourself to only listening to people who look/sound right. Then you are putting a massive cap on your learning.

Everyone has a lesson to teach if you are willing to listen hard enough… And sometimes the best lessons are taught in the most unorthodox ways, by the most unexpected people. ✨

Drama Queen 101

Surround yourself with people who want to move forward not live in that past.

Talk about opinions, the world, passions, art, music, philosophy and politics, not other people.

Rub shoulders with the passionate.

Learn from the successful.

There is not enough time in your life for unnecessary drama…

drama

 

What would you rather be doing?

10years

 

It’s been a productive week.  My eldest son, Chance started school (pre-primary), I had 2 wisdom teeth pulled out, snuck in 2 mid-week gigs, 1 Skype singing lesson and recorded a new song idea.  And so with Chance being kept busy 5 days a week 830-3pm, I’ve been given a whole lot of time back.  I actually feel rich!

You see, we should see our time and energy as we see our money – even more precious, as time and energy spent can never be returned to you.  Yet, so many people are willing to give up their precious time doing things they don’t enjoy for very small amounts of money or return.

Today I ask, What are you doing with your time and energy? and What would you rather be doing?  If you find the two answers are far from each other then maybe it’s time to re-evaluate.

Believe it or not, not all people dread the idea of going to work.  And I’m not just making reference to people who have exciting jobs and get paid a shitload of money.  There are some people who love their job waiting tables, or driving a delivery van or doing someone’s taxes.  And outside of this, there are some people who just haven’t found their ‘Happy’ yet.

The world is full of different and unique personalities and there is no standard one way road to happiness.  And frankly, that’s because ‘happiness’ means something different to each and every one of us.  So no, you don’t need to be rich to be happy, but you do need to be happy to feel enriched.

To my friends who plod along in life on auto-pilot feeling unhappy, apathetic and without purpose: It’s time to take a moment.  Ask yourself what would you rather be doing.  And then do it.  Now… I don’t mean quit your job and start being a full time finger-painter because ‘I love finger-painting’ and then go broke and get homeless etc… Just take it in small steps.  That time that you are throwing at people like its worthless, I say, hold on to some of it.  Keep it for yourself.  Just a few hours a week doing what you love to heal your heart and feed your soul.  It will make such a difference in your life and could spark an idea for a project, and that project could later fit into a business model, and in taking little steps you might see value in dedicating more time to that ‘Happy’ and turn it into something that makes you money, directly or indirectly.  Your ‘Happy could end up being your full time job — you could live on it! Wouldn’t that be amazing??

Well it’s not impossible.  Some of us are just enslaved by our ideas about the ‘rules of life’.  And we resign to the fact that our life is just about waking up and going to work for 40 hours to make someone else rich, just so we can pay bills and ask for permission to go on a holiday for 2 weeks, once a year.  Shit! that sounds all sorts of crazy to me.

The Alternative?  Put  your happiness at the top of your priority list.  Because happiness attracts all kinds of success. And happiness brings good health.  Happiness fixes relationships.  Happiness attracts customers. And happiness finds the right squad for you to hang out with.

But all change is difficult and scary for most, and it requires time and energy. So when dividing up that time and energy across your commitments, please reserve some of that energy for your ‘Happy’.  If you think that you are too busy, then basically you’ve decided to settle for your current situation.

And if you don’t know where to start, who you are, what you like and what you should be doing, maybe I can help you.

Watch this space for upcoming events, info and blogs or get in contact at thealternativetoday@gmail.com  if you want to chat.

Finally I want to ask everyone to be thankful for the energy and time that others give to you, as I am thankful for the time you took to read this blog.  Your time is not unlimited. Use it wisely!

RoxySIGNoff

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Work hard…for the right things

passion

Being in control of your own time, work schedule, creative direction and destiny doesn’t necessarily mean that you work less.  It means that you care a whole lot more about whether you are succeeding and that you find a lot more satisfaction in achieving those personal goals.  I love my job so much that I have to watch myself to not become a workaholic!!  Balance is key.  There must also be time for family, for play, for rest and for fun.